Cryptozoology: the search for the bewildering by the bewildered...

A cautionary tale from our Natural History expert Paul Meszaros.

As is essential in all bogus “science”, cryptozoology manages to blur the distinction between authentic scientific enquiry and the outer reaches of wild speculation, dare I say, outright lunacy. At the respectable end of the spectrum is the search for new species; a perfectly reasonable scientific endeavour. At the loopier extreme, we can find  proponents of dinosaur survivals, fairies, mythic sea monsters, mothmen, mermaids, snowmen (abominable, and otherwise!) and dozens of hominid types across many countries presumably all milling around vying to be “the missing link” while still being deeply “crypto-“.

The cryptozoologists also have a nice tactic in that they retrospectively claim many exciting new animal discoveries as part of their “oeuvre”, while never having been part of the discovery process: it’s the “I told you so” blanket-claim to anything not yet discovered! So the cryptos cite such wonderful real world finds as the okapi and the coelacanth as “proof” that theirs is a valid and valuable “science”.

I leave the reader to pursue his/her own enquiries into the particular “can of killer sand-worms” that is cryptozoology. Wikipedia does a fine alphabetical listing of cryptids (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cryptids).

There is a strange category of creature that unfortunately has fallen into the grasp of the cryptozoological fraternity.

This paper involves those mythic creatures that are acknowledged as being ludicrous yet are cherished for their ongoing humorous value. The gnomes and goblins of medieval Europe might serve as an example. It is long since anyone believed in the actuality of small folk living and mining underground, but the lineage of gnomehood lives on in a faintly humorous, kitsch existence in our gardens. 

In contradistinction, the mermaid might once have occupied space in this category. But with the recognition of the dugong and/or manatee as the ACTUAL creatures behind the mermaid myth, the potential humour/whimsy of the original notion surrendered to the rather less funny reality. That is not to say the dugong is not hilarious in its own right, but decoupled from the mythic elements, it is funny in a different way.

Somewhat unsurprisingly there are many entries in the cryptozoological list that are purely whimsical: they were nonsense at their inception and have remained so ever since in an unbroken chain of non-reality. Yet the cryptozoologists hold tight to these beasts presumably “just in case” they are found to exist!

The whimsical crypto-animals comprising our study group will ably illustrate this thesis and seem to share a thematic association despite their large geographic separations. And in the most splendid whimsical tradition, each has a Linnaean classification, detailed field observations as to behaviour and habitat and even taxidermied examples in museum cabinets!

The astute reader will rapidly discern the commonalities among the beasts soon to be described. But I will summarise here the essential points of similarity:

(1) “rabbittyness”!

The first fearsome creature to be assessed is the Skvader of Sundsvall in Sweden (species: Tetrao lepus pseudo-hybridus rarissimus L).

The mighty skvader has the forequarters and hind legs of a hare (Lepus) and the back, wings and tail of a female wood grouse (Tetrao urogallus). As you will probably have guessed the skvader was actually constructed by a taxidermist, Rudolph Granberg. Since it was jokingly assembled in 1918 it has been on permanent display in the Museum at Norra Berget in Sunsvall where it continues to be a very popular exhibit!

Rudolph Granberg’s prepared skvader in the Norra Berget Museum, Sundsvall.

Warning! Skvaders Ahead!

Images credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/skvader

If the reader has recovered from the shock and awe that accompanied the skvader revelations, the next horrific entry is one amongst a small cluster of related(?) rabbitty species that infest certain whimsical parts of Germany.

The Wolpertinger (species: crisensus bavaricus) is said to inhabit the Alpine forests of Bavaria. Traditionally, it is described as a winged rabbit with fangs and antlers. Many beautifully rendered stuffed examples are available in tourist centres and they are often seen amidst collections of more conventional hunting trophies. Germany seems to be well populated with wolpertingers and their close relatives the rasselbock of the Thuringian Forest and the elwedritsche of the Palatinate region. Avid hunting does not appear to have affected the wild population!

A rather confused and confusing Wolpertinger!

The Wolpertinger at rest.

Image credits: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/wolpertinger

Of course the western hemisphere has its very own examples of nightmarish rabbitty horror in the form the Jackalope of North America, where it is also known as “the fearsome critter”.  The formal description of this beastliness suggests that it takes the form of a jack rabbit with horns, plus or minus a pheasant’s tail. Apparently, it is dangerous to approach too closely (see “killer rabbit” in Wikipedia).

It seems that this creature reaches plague proportions in Wyoming despite it only breeding during electrical storms accompanied by hail. The situation has become so dire around the town of Douglas in Wyoming that Jackalope Hunting Licences are regularly issued. The season is of only one day’s duration (June 31 !!) from midnight to 2 am. An additional stipulation is that the hunter must have an IQ under 72.

And on the topic of mental retardation, President Reagan had a jackalope head mounted on the trophy wall of his Californian ranch, where it remains to this day as testament to the President’s hunting prowess.

Jackalope in c.1575 illustration.

A well-wrangled Jackalope in South Dakota.

Jackalope images: http://enwikipedia.org/wiki/jackalope

All this rabbitty nonsense might easily be dismissed as folky, tall-tale telling, tongue in cheek  jokiness if it were not for the fact that 2000 years ago the Roman proto-scientist Pliny the Elder described a “rabbit-bird” as inhabiting the Alpine regions of Europe (wolpertinger or skvader (?)) ! And the illustration of the horned rabbit by Hofnagel in 1575 among other recognisable rabbit types suggests that it was considered a reality worth including in the “family portrait” of rabbit types.

This is not to say that such fanciful beasts might really exist. Yet, it does not take too much research to find out that rabbits and other lagomorphs are prone to Shope papilloma virus,  the chief outward symptom of which is the development of horny outgrowths on the rabbit’s head...ANTLERS!!

And, as good natural historians we should not be too quick to dismiss as a hoax that stuffed animal of unlikely appearance. We would do well to remember the total disbelief and dismissal of the first taxidermied platypus that reached Europe. The greatest anatomists of the time declared the poor platypus to be the wild concoction of some mischievous taxidermist !